Lade

verb, ship.

You told me that right now you 'hate my stupid fucking life'. Right now I know how you feel. Even if you might not believe me when I say that. Today there were butterflies and lovehearts covering my arms. You won't understand that. But it's not good...

I want you to know that I care. And that I love you. More than you even realise.

You are so so so important to me.

And I love you.

Sometimes I feel as broken as her... The girl in the picture...

So maybe you're just as broken as I am. And maybe I'm too scared to go on. I cannot do this without you. You said you'd never leave. I need you to be there. And I need you to let me be there for you too.

Sometimes I feel like all I can do is curl up in a ball and cry.

Everyone says they're lost.

Well, I'm not lost.

I know exactly where I am.

I just hate it here.

Sometimes all I want is to be alone.

So here's a tip. Just don't think. Don't fucking think. Because when you think you realise just how fucked up everything really is. You realise you don't know how you got where you are, you don't know where you're going and you don't know what to do anymore.

Sometimes all I want is you.

These days I go to bed every night with my headphones in, listening to that one song, over and over, on repeat. All because it reminds me of you. And no matter what I do you will not leave my mind. I cannot sleep without listening to that song anymore. I hope you're happy.

I know you're not.

Sometimes I want us to run away together and never look back.

All I mind's losing you. I'm not going anywhere. And I will always ALWAYS be here. Always.

Sometimes I feel like I'm surrounded by these shards of brokenness that nobody can see.

I think movies should have disclaimers at the beginning. "These events will never occur in real life. If they did, you wouldn't be sitting inside watching a fucking movie."

Sometimes people don't hate you until your back is turned. And sometimes they won't love you until you're dead.

Honestly? Judge me all you fucking like. You want to hate me? Go for it. As the saying goes: Take a walk in my fucking shoes (ok... so i'm pretty sure there's no 'fucking' in that saying... but meh). I bet you will fall on the first step.

You can judge me all you like, but you couldn't live my life if you tried.