Tuesday, August 31, 2010


noun, one set of horizontal bars fixed between two vertical ones and used for climbing up and down.

"if you love someone let them go, and if they come back they are truly yours if not it was never meant to be"

I saw this today. Someone had posted it as their status on Facebook. And we all know that I spend too many hours browsing facebook waiting for something interesting to happen even though I know that it never does, and even though I have far more important work to be doing.

anyway... it made me sad. because i think that that if you love someone that much then you have to hang onto them with all you have. You can't let go and say 'if he/she loves me he/she will come back for me.' Because fact of the matter is that if you test this, most of the time, you're only going to lose out, and lose them. And it's nobody's fault but yours.

if you love someone, and i mean really love someone, you should do everything you can to keep them in your life. Because it is more important to love and be loved than to test people's word. If someone says they love me I take it at face value. If i say I love someone I mean it. I may sound like i throw it around a lot. But i never want the people i love to forget it. Ever.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you love someone, things won't always be perfect. No relationship can be. I mean, we're only human. We all screw up. Some lie, some cheat, some break at the first sign of trouble. Some, like me, are far too needy. Yeh, I know I am. None of us are perfect. So no relationship will be without problems. I know that each and every one of you have been through a hard time in your life before. And if you haven't, believe me; it's going to come. I'm sure that you've all felt at one stage that you cant go on. And then you've found some hope. There's always ALWAYS hope. No matter how bad things get. Get up in the morning and be grateful for the sunshine or the rain. You may not be perfect. You may not be who you want to be. He/she may not be perfect. And you might not be perfect together. but if you love someone and they make you happy, make you smile, if they brighten your day or make you a better person... hold onto them.

those who are strongest are those who do not run at the first sign of trouble. those who are strongest are willing to got the hard yards. Because honestly, if you're not willing to put in any effort, good luck maintaining any form of friendship or relationship more than a month. But more than anything, be with who makes you happy. and stay. make it work. if its worth it you'll work it out.

So here's to never forgetting.
Here's to being young, acting like a high schooler, and never wanting to grow up.
Here's to wishes at 11.11.
Here's to change, both good and bad.
Here's to missing the people you care about.
Here's to moving on.
Here's to all the words we never said.
Here's to every tear you've wasted on people that didn't care.
Here's to hard work.
Here's to nights spent living in the moment.
Here's to pumping Lady Gaga as loudly as possible coming out of private school car parks so that those bitches know we're hub scum.
Here's to late night Maccas runs.
Here's to the songs that make you hurt like nothing else.
Here's to those nights we've cried ourselves to sleep.
Here's to life, as hard is it may be, and picking ourselves up even though we've falling a million times and will only fall a million more.
Here's to us. Because we're almost out the other side. We've almost made it now.
Here's to the hard times that make us stronger.
Here's to love.

Friday, August 27, 2010


noun, boy, youth.

So... Psych Find-a-word. The idea is that you look at it, and comment the first five words you see. It's supposed to reflect your mind or something.

So here's mine: Fool, Dread, Leave, Scum, Suicide, Kiss.


adjective, of or resembling lace fabric.

when you are important to another person that person will always find a way to make time for you.
no excuses.
no lies.
no broken promises.

Monday, August 23, 2010


Noun, gap or missing portion. (yay, finally finished with milk :P)

We were tight, but it falls apart as silver turns to blue.
Waxing with a candlelight, and burning just for you.
Allocate your sentiment, and stick it in a box.
I've never been an extrovert, but i'm still breathing.

I'm going to steal something here from my lovely fellow blogger, Shootingatspiders... And see how this goes.

Truthfully... Knowing some of the things you've said about me behind my back to people who don't even know me hurts. Our "friendship" will never be the same.
Truthfully... Sometimes I'm a bitch just so I can see if you care or not.
Truthfully... I don't think I can lose you again.
Truthfully... Sometimes I want to ask you to choose just so that I can see who you would pick.
Truthfully... I love you.
Truthfully... I lied.
Truthfully... I will never desert you like others have...
Truthfully... I don't want to feel like this tomorrow, and I don't want to live like this today.
Truthfully... I've changed since I met you.
Truthfully... You. Are Beautiful. And I... Am jealous.
Truthfully... Sometimes I think you really are the male version of me.
Truthfully... There's more going on than you think there is.
Truthfully... I've been officially diagnosed now.
Truthfully... That night was the best night sleep I've had in a while.
Truthfully... sometimes I feel like song lyrics are they only way to express myself.
Truthfully... You don't care as much as you say you do.
Truthfully... I know more than you think I do.
Truthfully... No matter how hard you try to get your head around it you will never understand our friendship.
Truthfully... Other people matter too.
Truthfully... I will never be who you want me to be.
Truthfully... I am not as much of a terrible person as you think I am.
Truthfully... I just want you to like me.
Truthfully... There are times when I cannot wait for formal. Because I know it is going to be the last time that I will have to see your face without the option of punching you.
Truthfully... There are times when I cannot wait for formal. Because after that I don't have to see you anymore.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Lactose (Dear so and so...)

noun, sugar that occurs in milk (are we almost done with milk?)

So... I think it's letters time again... just because there are a few that i have to get out. even if i'm not sure whether the people i'm writing to even read this anymore (in fact idk if anyone does...) and even though i know at least one of them *cant* read this anymore. But we're not going back to the 30 day challenge cos that got too hard and blegh and pointless. Lol....... I'm not meant to say 'lol' in a blog am I? meh...

Hey you,
It's a bad thing, isn't it? That I feel worse about falling asleep on you when you needed someone, that I'm more worried you may hate me, than I am about losing the one person who has been a constant in my life for eighteen years.

I am sorry. I really am. And I love you. And you mean the world to me. You really do. One of only a small handful of people who come into that category. And that isn't going to change. Nothing can change that.

I still have your letter. It just got caught between someone I just invented, who i really am and who I've become.
You're a dick.
I don't feel bad anymore.
What you did was wrong. And I've finally accepted that it wasn't my fault.
Time for you to stop haunting me now.

Hey Babe...
You have nothing to worry about. I know you'll never ever believe me. But you don't. Nothing.
And I love you. I love you so much.
♥ ♥

I don't know how to tell you what I want to tell you.
And I don't think you care or want to listen anyway.
I'm pretty sure you don't read this in any case...
Bevwhugdb zdv ixq. L zdqw brx wr olnh ph. Eholhyh lw ru qrw, l olnh brx.

Iknowhowitfeels. Ihavethesame. Youwouldn'tknowthat... But... Weareoneandthesameinmanyways. IwishIcouldtellyouthat. ButIcant.
I love you.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010


adjective, of milk
I know that i'm eighteen years old. I should have grown out of it a long time ago. Ten years at least. But honestly, somewhere inside me is that same scared little girl as before. The monsters have changed. But they're still there, hiding under my bed, waiting to scare me all over again.

Saturday, August 14, 2010


Adjective, of milk.

Sometimes I feel really small. Like you could close your hands and crush me. Like you wouldn't even notice if I were gone.

Sunday, August 1, 2010


noun, secretion of milk by the mammary glands.

sometimes i really want to drown...